Thursday, August 14, 2008

Slipping Away ...


The evening draws to a close. The gentle rustlings of the bedtime routine signal the coming calm of an evening stretching out toward sweet slumber. Suddenly ... BLAM! BLAM-BLAM! BLAM! "What is that?" and all come running. In shock, I peel myself from the ceiling and look incredulously at my computer. My blog stares back at me from the familiar screen; I double check to be certain. Next, I check the playlist. Correctly uploaded for my blog. Hmmmm . . . how did that blasting music find its way onto my beautiful playlist? Just what was that song? I retrace a few steps and find that a song I heard on another blog, a lilting and beautiful piano melody, had several versions available to select from the playlist log. I failed to secure the "piano only" version. So, I apologize to any of you listeners that may have experienced a JOLT from my blunder.

Once my nerves return to normal and a restored calm descends over my sitting room, I ponder the swirl of activity that engulfs me right now. I came into this peaceful little nook to write just a bit but the music intruded with cacophonous clamor, drawing attention to the many little errors and slips and snares that have crept into my days. Earlier, Rachel sat moping in a chair waiting for someone to find a free moment to help her with her pinata. "Everyone is so busy!" she whispered while staring out the window sadly. I stop cold.

The words of Anne Morrow Lindbergh recently saved in my "pondering place" come washing over me:

For it is only framed in space that beauty blooms. Only in space are events and objects unique and people unique and significant -- and therefore beautiful . . . Even small and casual things take on significance if they are washed in space, like a few autumn grasses in one corner of an Oriental painting, the rest of the page bare.

My life in Connecticut, I began to realize, lacks this quality of significance and therefore of beauty, because there is so little empty space. The space is scribbled on; the time has been filled. There are so few empty pages in my engagement pad , or empty hours in the day, or empty rooms in my life in which to stand alone and find myself. Too many activities and people and things. Too many worthy activities, valuable things, and interesting people. For it is not merely the trivial which clutters our lives, but the important as well.
(Gift from the Sea, p.114-115)

I turn and gaze at the calender and the flurry of activity spread over the next couple of weeks: Elizabeth's return to university, Lydia's wisdom teeth removal, music lessons, dinners with friends, our 24th anniversary ... So many necessary and wonderful events scrawl in various scripts across the pages of our life. So much to do? In so little time? Where lies the rest and the peaceful moments of prayer? Somewhere along the summertime path I managed to color in all the empty space. Today I clearly see the need to bring out an eraser and smudge away the inked spots enough to uncover a moment for chatting over tea and applying starch to newspaper and reading a newly-penned poem. My bookshelves and baskets sag with the weight of unread treasure and I am the poorer for it.

The solution lies in the margins of my life. I desire a spot to doodle or merely watch over the shoulder of a doodler. The summer sun has shifted whilst I have typed and commented and met all of you. The days shorten just a bit more with each sunset. I feel a bit out of balance as we approach the changes on the horizon. So, I shall be posting a bit less frequently, but hopefully with a smoother cadence. My enthusiasm to meet with all of you has grown, but my zeal to produce a new post each day has dwindled. I find I have so little time to go visit all of you and greet new people when I am obsessing over spacing issues, pic uploads, and such. A brief break every now and again to refresh and read and stretch a bit will render me greater pleasure and much more joy as I balance home and blogdom.

With my 24th wedding anniversary at hand I think it a fine time to pack a picnic into a hamper, tuck a book into my pocket, and make off to our private fairy woods whose only source of power rests in my imagination and the might generated by the smiles of those I love. I shall return soon with fresh adventures to impart, books to discuss, recipes to share, theories to test, and so much more of the stuff we call "life" here at Wisteria Cottage.
* * * * *
A patter of ballet flats accompanied by the swishing of swept-past ferns signals she has slipped away . . .

19 comments:

Becky said...

You will be missed my dear friend for I look forward to your posts arrival at 12AM every day but I joy in the fact that you are returning to your first love. Happy prayers and happy reading. (((Debbie)))

Elizabeth said...

Many of us have been where you are! We started our blogs with zealousness but as life takes hold of us, our posting on our own blogs, and comments on others somewhat end up taking a backseat. Dwindling a bit is normal, please don't disappear though, my friend! I truly enjoy your blog and this new friendship :)

Britt-Arnhild said...

Thanks for the AML words Debbie. My life too often tends to become a whirlwind of travels and activities. I love it all, but where are those quiet moments hidden.......

Enjoy yours! And thanks for your friendship.

Flea said...

Elizabeth is right. :) Enjoy your 24th anniversary and everything that brings. We'll be here.

Laura said...

My observation is that the flurry of blogs offered a peek into the beautiful life at Wisteria Cottage.
A delicious taste.

Now, we shall suffice with a petit-four now and then.
I will keep my tea cup full in anticipation of the moment, and the playlist will continue to soothe our hours in the schoolroom.

Meanwhile on to the glorious tasks and spaces of each day.
What a gracious reminder for my life as well...
aiming for smooth cadence.

"A (woman's) heart diveseth
her way,
but God directs her steps."
~Proverbs 16.9~

Dance On!

Kathy said...

Peace!

bindhiya said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
bindhiya said...

Dear Debbie,
Enjoy your time...
Happy anniversary..

bindi

Mim said...

Happy Anniversary
Your life sounds busy but full.
Mim

imbeingheldhostage said...

THIS is a beautiful post. I hit that moment as well-- I was posting daily and trying my hardest to read and comment back to every person... and then I realized my kids were seeing my back. I will be here when you get back, and of course you are my email pen pal as well-- so no worries :-)

PS: was it the Fray?

Suzanne said...

Thank you for stopping by my dear friend. I needed you today and clicked on your blog. I've missed so much of your life self absorbed in mine. I'm crying you know. I guess for many reasons.

I never listen to playlists because my speakers are usually in the closet to protect them from the kitties, but today I'm playing yours as I read your blog and write this. You know from reading my blog I love piano, so this is a gift. Your selection is beautiful and meaningful. "Home" is especially lovely and Yo Yo Ma always moves me. After reading all the posts I've missed I literally had to wipe tears from my eyes and cheeks in order to type this. I'm sorry things didn't work out for your daughter and her beloved. Your post with the poem and the bleeding heart nearly killed me. We can probably all relate because we've suffered loss and some still do. You know I'm not religious, but I do pray, and I will pray her heart heals and she finds happiness.

It's funny how we all meet, isn't it? And then how we stick around those who matter. I can honestly say I will stick around if you do. Somehow you fill my soul and I'm so, so grateful to have you in my life.

I think of you most when I'm at the park feeding the ferals. I look into all the black soot and wonder why? Why did it all have to burn and why did I lose so much. Every day I have to look at it and my heart breaks. But I don't write about it on my blog any longer because a dear reader mentioned that she stopped visiting because it was so negative. I reminded her that I'm a very happy person, but I face challenges just like everyone else and can't pretend every day is a walk in the rose garden. I know you understand that and that's why you stick around and why I love you so. And why, in times of great pain, you appear to lift my spirits.

Keep dancing my dear friend and know that we share almost the same playlist, except, I don't have one!!! But I'm going to get one and run away with so many of your songs so you feel right at home!!! Oh, and we also share a love of Celtic music. I'm not Irish. My hubby is. I'm English, French and Polish, but try to convince my hubby I'm Irish too. He reminds me I'm not. Hey! Not funny.

I love you, and thank you for this one. I love the quote. Will never forget it. And like you, I struggle with time and all that fills it. But you said something so meaningful about looking in the margins of one's life. I never thought I'd find extra time, but think I will there. Thank you. Happy 24th my dear, dear friend. And thank you for this afternoon of beautiful music and words.

And I will leave with this. Most of my dear friends pointed out that loss in fire is painful, so with that I wrap my arms around you and whisper in your ear, "I love you, everything will be okay."

XO

noble pig said...

Find your balance and stick with it and Happy Anniversary, wow, 24 years, that's wonderful.

CONNIE said...

Happy Anniversary, Deb. Your daily entries will surely be missed. Enjoy each moment.

Laure said...

happy anniversary to you ... as you refresh ... don't look back.

Cecile said...

Hi Debbie,
I've seen you around at Bindi,Suzannes, and Kylies, and a comment I read on Kylies last post caused me to come here to visit. You writing is beautiful. I'm sorry, but if you go to my page you will not find the music as soothing. It isn't that I don't enjoy soft music... Anyway, I just wanted to see what you were all about. And I see you are all about serenity, love and raising wonderful, well rounded children. I'm very glad I came here. Thanks for having me.

Jo said...

Oh dear friend I've missed you!! Life has swept me away but I'm still able to taste Beauty and appreciate it when I venture over here... you've inspired me to start writing once more... I believe I shall.
Love,
Jo
(And a happy anniversary to you!!)

LadiesoftheHouse said...

I hear you and I agree! We are too, too busy and anymore I do not feel guilty for taking the time to walk along the beach, read a good book, or visit my recovering brother just to talk and spend time. Enjoy yourself!

Karen Deborah said...

Well, shoot fire, what can I say? I know you will do what is best. Maybe if you just post once a week or when Rachel builds something adorable. It has been such a PLEASURE to peek into your family. It felt like the old Felton days rekindled when I could spend a day with you and listen to the music and enjoy the sights, the smells, the reads. What a friend you are and how I treasure you. I told Susie the other day, "SEE, see how I could not help but to love them?" You are right about time and what is important. Drop by when you can, love you. I'm trying to figure out if I can download your playlist to my computer, ask Gary. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!

Suzanne said...

Cece is here! My heart is so full. She's a great lady.

Love you dear friend and thank you so much for the kind comment on my blog. You have no idea how much I cherish this blog. Some how I find myself here.

XO Me