The Gift of Internet Silence

The sun shines brightly, calling, “Come!  Play with me!”  I turn around and survey the landscape (by which I mean, housescape) a-jumble in “must dos” and “should dos” and I resolve to dig deeper for the tenacity needed to stick to “the plan.”  But, alas, I am human and prone to focus on the wrong things even with the best of motives.  It just seems wrong to waste a perfectly sunny day when I know that rain will arrive next week.  Thus, I give you the gift of silence from this bloggy little place.   I am away at play in my garden or in my kitchen or in my Tiki room (jumping on a trampoline).  If you should happen to be in my vicinity, please stop in and play.  My silence upon this page echoes loudly with laughter in life beyond the page.  And since our life is held firmly and safely in the palm of God, I have no need to fret or worry or push.  I shall relax, be still, and send you most joyful wishes as I embark on a weekend of FUN and light and internet silence.   EnJOY the weekend!

A Quiet Time

I have stood in a silent place and listened.

I have sat in the shade of a mighty wing and rested.

I have danced in a sweet meadow with no one to see me but God.

I have lived quietly . . .

And found it nourishing, satisfying, and, above all, blessed.

* * * * *

As a child, I loved those cozy books with glimpses down a rabbit warren or peeks behind the walls into a mouse house.  I pored over each heavily-detailed page depicting life among a mouse family dressed in period togs, seated by a warm fire, reading a story to sleepy babes, while sipping bedtime beverages from floral-sprigged china.  The picture of bliss:  Home Sweet Home.

While I love a robust adventure or a romantic saga, a cottage-cozy tale replete with tasty meals, tufted ottomans (why isn’t it ottomen?), and a tumbling garden always gets my vote.  I have a burgeoning collection of “bedtime reads” that coddle and comfort before I drift off to sleep.  Finding such joy in the quiet spaces of my day sustains me and breeds contentment.

Once upon a time, I sought, sought, sought fulfillment through events, acquisitions, and goals.  I worked hard at being, doing, and achieving.  The “rewards” flowed steady, but I was often too tired or overbooked to enjoy the sweet fruits of the sweaty labor.  I craved rest but had a hard time scheduling for it.  I “collapsed” now and again, naming it rest.  In due time, I would drag my still-crumpled and weary body back onto life’s treadmill and plod along.

Somewhere along life’s path I found tiny moments to steal away and hide from the taskmaster I called life.  I felt guilty as I soaked in a tub without an instruction book clasped in my damp hands.  Guilt whispered harshly when I lay down and cuddled a child in the shadow of a billowing laundry basket.   In fact, guilt hissed at me so often and from so many places that I began to just ignore it like the distant hum of a neighbor’s leaf blower.  “It will pass,” I assured myself as I stopped up my ears with laughter and celebration in a tiny moment spent tickling a beloved tummy.  These random moments of pure fun or sweet quiet began knitting together to form a shawl of beauty and warmth to wrap round me as I rambled through the busy days as wife/mommy/daughter/sister/friend.  Little pearls of wisdom and joy threaded through the fabric of my daily mantle adorning, as well as, strengthening its fiber.  Peace and contentment grew in the shadow of these loving, nurturing moments woven by and through and around me.

I have no idea when I first noticed that I could no longer hear guilt’s guttural grumble; nor do I wish to retrace my steps to find such an unwelcome companion.  Instead, I greet each day with a cuppa tea and a quiet time, fresh and ready for joy to meet me.  Some days I read, others I write, and often I simply gaze in wonder at the freshly-sprung day and all its blossoming beauty.  One need only pause and look to find once barren twigs come to life with floral frosting or a simply threaded web hosting a dewy dressing rivaling a Tiffany display.  Life stores unmatched artistry in the quiet corners of our life.  We need only open our eyes as we rest our hands and our mouth.   This wondrous cape of life and love wraps me up in readiness for whatever I may encounter as I sojourn on this earth.  I may keep my shawl closely pulled on those chilly morns, and later pillow it behind my head on a warm bed of grass beckoning me to cloud gaze.  I used to run through the day chasing bossy To Do’s and anxious checklists, but now I step softly and listen, for there is so much to be found in a quiet time.

  

And he said, Go forth, and stand upon the mount before the Lord. And, behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the Lord; but the Lord was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the Lord was not in the earthquake:  And after the earthquake a fire; but the Lord was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice. 

1 Kings 19:11-12

Gaining Wait in 2013

Today I awoke and stood still.  The quiet house whispered, “All is well.”  After so many days of merry-making laced with going here-, doing this-, making that-,  I greeted today with NOTHING on my agenda.

Naturally, the house and family ALWAYS offer a solution to the age-old ponderance:  “What shall I do with this unscheduled moment?”  But, today I stepped beyond hearing range of the To Do List and settled into the lull of a place. 

And here I sit . . . simply sitting (and sipping tea, of course).

The Christmas tree twinkles over there; the Nativity shines over here; Christmas extends its reach to January 6^th for us.  We will have yet another wonderful celebration on the 6^th, but for today it is quiet.  We are quiet.  I am quiet.

So, as many (most, probably) have trundled away the tree and set about tackling resolves to de-clutter, de-stress, de-weight, I slip back into the lull of Christmas that enveloped the manger scene even as the wise men made their way to the blessed meeting. 

I guess you could say I’ve decided to turn the tables and gain weight wait this year.  And in this waiting my expectations grow and delight me with the prospect of meeting, greeting, and embracing the Christ child; for surely, at least one of those wise men scooped that babe up in his arms and played the “coo-ing” game complete with smiles of pure joy and baby-game conversations like, “Oh aren’t you beautiful?  Yes, you are.  You’re so sweet I could just eat you up!” and then proceeded to nibble on those newborn toes with delight.    

[Okay – maybe not the nibbling-toes part.  That probably would have been in the recorded version if women accompanied these learned ones.  But, I digress . . .]

After all, God came to man as a baby – fully God/fully human – and who can resist an adorable baby?  Being fully God did not erase that heavenly “baby smell” each birth brings; nor did it envelop him in a corona-like force field that kept mere mortals at bay.  As in his later life, so in his birth, Jesus came to be embraced.

In these quiet moments before meals commence and dishes stack, I simply sit in this lull . . . in this wait . . . and find something still and small and special. 

 And he said, Go forth, and stand upon the mount before the Lord. 

And, behold, the Lord passed by, 

 And a great and strong wind rent the mountains, 

And brake in pieces the rocks before the Lord; 

But the Lord was not in the wind: 

And after the wind an earthquake; 

But the Lord was not in the earthquake:   

And after the earthquake a fire; 

But the Lord was not in the fire: 

And after the fire 

a still small voice.

1 Kings 19:11, 12

 I hope to gain a LOT of wait in 2013. 

 

CELEBRATE 2012

My new year has begun and I am awash in stored-up-for-pondering moments:  The parties and gatherings strung day-to-day as jewels about my heart, a precious necklace, a gathering of sweet-sweet gifts.  I reaped quiet joy from all the parties thrown, invites accepted, hospitality served, moments shared. 

All Good. 

All Merry. 

All Bright. 

A Serendipitous Treasure Trove.  

  

Caves filled with glowing gems 

Surprise the happy wanderer, 

Whereas stock returns 

Merely mop the sweated brow 

Of an anxious investor. 

Treasure delights the heart 

In ways that a planned heist never can. 

 [a page from my journal]

* * * * *

I guess my greatest lessons of 2011 involve the washing away of tallies from yesterday and To-Do lists destined to harness today, leaving the day’s blackboard open for spontaneous doodles, unexpected love notes, and serendipitous moments of pure joy.

I found a lasting souvenir of serendipity from 2011 on a day-trip into The City (San Francisco, of course) during post-Christmas week: 

A thoughtfully planned itinerary blew away in the winds of mayhem and mobs of merry-makers filling the streets, shops, and restaurants.  Missed turns and clotted intersections met us at the city gate (Golden, of course), and forced me surrender my “plan” for the day.  I shrugged and danced along, sometimes being dragged, pushed, or prodded.  I played along nicely and actually found it freeing and fun to just go from here to there without a schedule.  We would see what we would see and it would be enough, I kept encouraging myself. 

We encountered cable car madness as we attempted to board and ride down from Union Square to Ghirardelli Square for dinner.  Throngs of people, some disrespectful of lines (and sometimes manners) thwarted our efforts for over an hour.  I began to grumble.  I grumbled again when we finally secured outside bars here and there around the car, separating our party into single entities hanging outside the car.  Hrmph!  Not the plan! 

When the car lurched forward the grumbling stopped as a giggle of sweet anticipation rose in my throat.  I looked across the car to my brother-in-law and saw his formerly furrowed brow relax as his grip tightened.  My sister, up ahead two bars, turned and flashed a wide grin.  I couldn’t see Gary for the obstructing brake man, but I trusted he held fast up near the front of the car.  Lurch!  The adventure began.

My grumble turned to humble as I noticed the sunset hues spreading ‘cross the skies.  Pink and lavender and gold flowed in and through the bluest of blue.  Quilted clouds perforated by the golden good-bye brought tears to my eyes.  The seeping fog blanketed the Bay, enveloping Alcatraz in quiet beauty for the right-sided riders to revel in, while we on the left had a stunning farewell symphony from a glorious day in The City.  The mist-chilled air rushed past, planting kisses upon all cheeks turned to the wind. 

The car climbed up, up, up, whizzed down, down, down, careened around corners, and slipped deftly past twin cars passing close.  “Lean in!” yelled the brakeman as I yearned to lean out and catch a passing hand.  “Hold on!”  He bellowed amidst the screeching of metal as we turned sharply and climbed higher.  Riding an hour earlier would have pre-empted the sunset; riding inside the wooden car would have cut the misty embrace – the waiting brought the beauty that my planned and expected results nearly stole.  “Serendipity,” sang the cables under the street.  “Enjoy,” squealed metal rails leading us on.  “Whee!” laughed my heart as I hung on and let go.

* * * *

“Good bye 2011!  You’ve been fantastic!” I sing full-throated.  You’ve taught me so much . . . you’ve given me so much and asked for nothing in return.  You simply came to me in unexpectedness and left me serendipitous.  Most of all you brought me to a crossroads and offered me freedom.  Personal keys fitted into personal locks that flung wide the iron bars from a heart now free to love and live and laugh most wholeheartedly. 

In 2011 I threaded my timid fingers through the bold hand of the Lord and set out across a scarred landscape without a map.  Finding my way through forests of forgiveness, over mountains of challenge, through valleys of despair did not discourage me because each step of the way I found beauty, unexpected beauty everywhere.  The burdensome molds of expectation coupled with the painful scalpels of perfection proved too heavy to heft up and down and all around this madcap journey without a map . . . so I dumped them and embraced the moment fueled by spontaneity.  If my foot got stepped upon I winced, forgave, and moved on without hesitation toward the music, eager to dance despite the smarting reminder that I had just been trod upon.  Serendipity met me and provided refreshment.  2011 felt good. 

Slipped on easily like comfy favorite slippers and a soft flowey skirt, 2011 was simply made for dancing.  And I danced regardless of the music.

My resolve at the dawn of 2011 to live in Serendipity flushed the pipes and set me on a wild and delightful adventure.  Gone the days of tense list making, meticulous evaluations, and intentional harnessing of details ensuring expected results; replaced with:

FREEDOM

As I let others be free, 

running true to themselves despite expectations,

So I let myself run free . . .

AND I LOVED IT!

Most notably I drink in the freedom of living side-by-side in love without the demand to do, be, give, make, supply.  Loving someone does not command one to meet their every need.  I can love freely.  Just love.  Love doesn’t come with a price tag or a To Do list or even an apron string . . . it simply comes. 

Love shouts “Boo!” from around the corner ahead.

Love rings the doorbell unannounced.

Love plants a kiss on a cold cheek and flushes it warm.

Love dances with Serendipity, making a fabulous couple.

Love is.

* * * * *

Still dancing to the joyful chorus of Serendipity echoing from 2011, 

I resolve to carry forth the loving and 

CELEBRATE 

in 2012. 

Having tossed out intentions and expectations in 2011, I favor the random spilling and splashing of goodness and joy and sweet, sweet love as it overflows the banks of one life and floods its neighbor nourishing them today.  Jesus promises tomorrow will take care of itself (Matthew 6:34) and God will take care of me (Matthew 6:30), so I am free to love . . . simply love . . . obedient love.

This is my commandment,

That you love one another;

Even as I have loved you.

John 15:12

Here it is seen that he loved us and did everything for our benefit,

in order that we may do the same not to him,

for he needs it not,

but to our neighbor. 

This is his commandment,

and this is our obedience.

 Christ helps us, so we in return help our neighbors,

and all have enough.

~~ Martin Luther ~~

* * * * *

“. . . who is my neighbor?”

Luke 10:29

* * *

And Jesus answering said, 

A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves, which stripped him of his raiment, and wounded him, and departed, leaving him half dead.  And by chance there came down a certain priest that way: and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side. And likewise a Levite, when he was at the place, came and looked on him, and passed by on the other side. But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was: and when he saw him, he had compassion on him, and went to him, and bound up his wounds, pouring in oil and wine, and set him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn, and took care of him. And on the morrow when he departed, he took out two pence, and gave them to the host, and said unto him, Take care of him; and whatsoever thou spendest more, when I come again, I will repay thee. 

 Which now of these three, thinkest thou, was neighbour unto him that fell among the thieves?

And he said, 
He that shewed mercy on him. 

Then said Jesus unto him,

Go, and do thou likewise.

Luke 10:30-37

* * * * *

December 12, 2011

Note to Self:

Forget about the myth you have created wherein your whole family gathers together to celebrate Christmas.  Remember, Mary and Joseph left family and journeyed far before they experienced Christmas.

In a makeshift “home”

Surrounded by those who followed the star

(Their only connection)

They celebrated Christmas.

Animals, shepherds, wise men, precious gifts,

All melded into an expression of answering a call.

No one expected.

No one forced.

It just happened.

[A page from my journal]

* * * * *

Though I haven’t packed a single map or directive to carry forth, 

I am more than equipped for the journey into 2012 

Because my heart brims with 2011’s gift of Serendipity.

So, I’m off!

Here I come!

Are you ready to 

CELEBRATE 2012

with me?

:  D

My Holiday To-Do List

Live Simply. 

Love Generously. 

Care Deeply.
Speak Kindly. 

Leave the Rest to God. 
~~ Ronald Reagan ~~

Being In a Summer's Day

I do not write in my journal.

My "gift" list lies fallow.

Blogger has not seen me.

I am silent in ink.

Yet in life . . . 

I laugh

I love

I cook

I dance

I play

I read

I rest

I celebrate nothing special . . . for it is ALL special.

* * *

Have I poured out all I have to give/say/write?

No.

Has the well run dry?

No.

Rather . . . I feel as if I am on holiday -- 

a great glorious spate of time devoted to simply being . . . 

. . . at play

. . . at rest

. . . at table

. . . at ease.

It feels so good to enjoy each simple moment, be they devoted to:

peeling a cucumber, 

slicing a tomato,

hearing a harp/flute duet played in the music room, 

reading slowly in a hot afternoon,

sipping a summery banana-pineapple-coconut smoothie,

simply being at summer.

"Remember," whispers the ink pen.

"Capture," croons the paper.

I reach for my journal 

and smile 

at the thought of another 

bliss-filled summer day

ripe for the picking,

sweet to the tasting.

How's your summer going?

Thousands of Words About Summer

* * *

Summer has finally arrived here at Wisteria Cottage.

We welcome you to

settle back into the comfy wicker, 

nibble a lemon bar, 

inhale the sweet fragrance of wisteria, 

and spend a summertime moment with us.  

These pictures make words unnecessary . . .

don't you agree?

From our cottage to yours:

Happy Summertime!

May Moments

How the time does fly!  I have been so consumed by all the projects I have failed to stop and share them.  Since a picture is worth a thousand words . . .

The Birthday girl holding a bouquet of beautiful roses sent by her sister.

 

Bob, the crow master.

My big chickies!

They are getting so beautiful.

Cucumber cage.

Corn cage (left) sugar snap peas (right).

Basically everything on this side of the yard has to be caged off or it becomes chicken snacks.

My over-achieving radish.

Tiny salad sprouts!

Baby basil.

Melons enjoying the sun.

Greenhouse!

I can't wait to get everything in the ground!

Tomato.

Freshly-tilled (we got a rototiller!!!) earth ready for planting.

Yaaaaaaaawn!

Homer is an Anna Hummingbird who lives here all year round.  Someday I hope to get a picture of him in the sun where his bright green body and deep pink face really sparkle and shine.

Happy May Everyone!!!