“Mom, you need to write on your blog so I can read it,” said
Lydia recently.
[ I smiled. : D I have a following. ]
Today while scribbling in my journal, my pen drew an arrow
from the printed page to the virtual screen.
This one’s for you, my sweet reader, Lydia
. . . and all the rest of you out there
in bloggyland.
* * * * *
Time Out. Time
Off. Time Away.
Time for Joy.
I’ve rattled, racked, and wrung my heart, mind, and spirit
lately. So much to process, decipher, prepare,
deliver . . . The world spins so out of
control these days and I am simply trying to live without succumbing to
dizziness and fatigue. I’ve found a
simple antidote: Joy.
Today, I’m taking a time out, for some time off, with some time away from my regularly-scheduled ways
and making time to stop, look, and listen to all the joy in and around me. I want to really drink it in and hold onto that feeling of sweet peace that comes from knowing I can relax and live life rather than exhaust myself by wrangling it into a corral for safe keeping.
The sunshine outside and the roaring fire within make me
smile at the crazy way a California Winter behaves. I love the sunshine! It’s so much easier to face the chilly morn
when rays of gold greet me: a picture of
hope. But I must admit, my favorite time
of day is sunset. Maybe it’s because I
am a squeeze-the-last-drop-out-of kinda gal.
I can be brutal on an exhausted tube of toothpaste or beauty cream; I
turn each liquid receptacle for shampoo or detergent on end into a funnel before retiring it to the
recycle bin; and I watch movies until the last credit rolls. I guess I’m a pretty committed “finisher.” I like tidy.
I get a “thrill” out of finding a place for everything and then putting
everything in its place. Thus, it is
with great surprise that I find myself becoming such a free-spirited dreamer
these days.
Nowadays, my children often find me embroiled in a book, hunched
over a writing project, or simply gazing out into the great beyond, whilst a pile
of dishes tip precariously in the sink awaiting attention. What has happened to Miss Tidy-up? Has she retired? Has she lost her mind? Has she been taken over by sloppy
aliens?
I, too, wonder where that other gal vanished to (usually
when an unpleasant task crops up in my path).
It seems mid-life has crept up and encouraged me to pry open new doors
and venture out into greater fields of freedom.
I plunge into life with more honesty and openness, more readiness to
reach out and embrace life and all those within it. Where fear once dogged my steps, I now dance
with such crazy abandon these days that I think fear finds it harder to follow
me. (Who knew freedom thwarted fear?)
To what do I attribute this influx of . . . well . . .
ummmmmm . . . joy? I’m not really sure,
but I know it has to do with letting go the reins of control and allowing life
to wash over me without fearing what might come my way. Sometimes I stumble, often times I fail, and sometimes big unexpected things knock me off my feet and swirl me around in salty waves of tears; but fear and fret make me tense and cause additional pain, so I'm learning to relax and just let it come – I simply hold out my hand and trust . . .
that God is good.
The results of this zany abdication of the foolish notion
that I can control my destiny (and the destinies of those I love) speak through
my experience.
I no longer fear rejection, for I have been rejected in the
most devastating way and not only survived, but flourished.
I no longer fear loss, for I have lost a child to death and
discovered that he will never truly be gone from my heart and that is where the
best of life collects.
I have known poverty, and found the "fear" of poverty to be
more overwhelming that the actual state of being without.
I have known financial bounty, and found the "thought" of
riches to be far more enjoyable than the actual care and feeding of a bank
balance.
I have told lies for protection, and found myself imprisoned
until the truth set me free.
I have compromised to save a friendship, and ended up losing
both my good name and the friend.
I have failed to notice a needy one in my very midst, and
then needed to fail in order to correct my vision.
I have been blind, deaf, and dumb as I strove for knowledge,
and then discovered the greatest gift of insight when I admitted my ignorance.
I have learned that a smile serves as the shortest path to
an attitude change. Like a single candle
in the darkness, a simple smile changes an entire face and everything it sees.
I have learned that “The Smile Game” (also known as: Smile at everyone you encounter) can be
played anywhere, anytime, with anyone and WE BOTH WIN EVERY TIME!
Most of all, I have learned that I will learn something new
every day, every hour, every minute of my life (good and bad, pleasant and
painful, abundant and barren . . . ) if I keep my heart at the ready to love,
accept, and share every single thing my Lord sends my way. How can I be so sure? How do I know this? Madeleine L’Engle said it best:
Now I see that time has gotten away from me, caught up with
me, and called out to remind me:
Time’s Up!
Now it's Time For:
Time Out
Time Off
Time Away
Time for Joy!
Before I go, I was wondering . . .
Does any one care to join me for a rousing round of
The
Smile Game?
I’ll Start!
: D