Thursday, April 2, 2009

Favored Status

Jacob says, “That broken hip?
An angel did me a favor.”

From The Inward Journey by Gene Edwards
In reference to Genesis 32:24-32

I stand in the midst of a “favor” sent by God. Tears course down my face as I strive to count it all joy. God promises victory, not ease; comfort, not leisure; hope, not remedy.

Living with autism has aggravated my ‘broken hip.’ Trials, tears, and toil seek to silence the music of celebration, to dim the eyes to beauty, to break the heart’s cistern of peace.

No button to push, no potion to heal . . . only prayer and supplication and endurance through this darkness.

Weeping may endure for a night,
But joy cometh in the morning.
Psalm 30:5b

And so I wrap myself in His mantle of love and ride out the storm. Though the waves crash and the thunder booms and darkness fills the air, I KNOW THE GOD OF ALL and He knows me. He knows what I endure and why . . . though I do not. He knows why and what my son endures . . . though I do not. My heart breaks for my sweet man-boy as he battles unknown, unexpressed enemies. But still I praise God because . . . I know we are not alone.

I know I am not alone for beyond the Omnipotent Embrace I sit next to loved ones right here in the boat with me, equally burdened, equally devoted in love and prayer. In addition, hands and hearts around the family, around the town, and around the globe join me in prayer and peaceful thoughts upon reading this (I know you do, and I thank you SO MUCH). Some of you know the pain of living with autism, some of you cannot imagine it, and all the rest of you fall somewhere in between. But God hears the prayers of each one of us, regardless of our experience.

If you have stepped across my little cyber threshold for the very first time I apologize for the lack of gaiety you may have been seeking. If you take a look around you’ll find that I celebrate this wonderful life (with all its ups and downs) with a joy firmly rooted in the love of my God-father-son-comforter, but just now the comforter dabs away tears, as He is wont to do on such occasions.

As I write this and drain away another pot of tea I hear the strains of Winnie-the-Pooh tunes filling the garden breeze as the girls have grabbed paintbrushes and made their way out of doors in an effort to finish painting the interior of Briar Rose Cottage (our playhouse/potting shed/tea house/reading spot) before the threatening clouds splash a few raindrops our way (or maybe snow according to some weather-tellers).

The happy tunes of friendship and love bring a smile to my face and an eagerness to run out and join them at play . . . uh . . . work wells up inside. As coats of primer prepare for coats of “Come Hither” (isn’t that a wonderful name for the petal-soft pink paint I found?), dreams slip out of summertime berrying with a respite for refreshment in the cottage or maybe a catnap on the wicker settee or simply a quiet haven for delving into the poetry of Wordsworth or a novel from way-back-when. The possibilities seem endless as each dab of paint brightens the place.

Smiles and dreams, hope and love – the thunderclouds melt in the presence of such.

Earlier this morning Rachel greeted me with a fistful of buttercups freshly gathered from the dewy meadow grasses. Those cheery flowers forced a smile and pierced the veil of sadness allowing sunlight to stream through.

Joy came in the morning . . .

Just like He promised.


Becky said...

Hugs and prayers. Perhaps you could use a chat over coffee/tea or a garden tour? Let me know.

Anonymous said...

Wishing I was closer to help out. Sending love from Fl.

Karen Deborah said...

hugs and love...

farmlady said...

I see you "Filling your paper with the breathings of your heart" my friend and it makes me sad. Your strength teaches me to trust in God.

I wish you buttercups, sunshine and peace within.

Kat said...

You are so strong and so wise. And much deserving of those lovely flowers.
Prayers for you. :)

Dawn said...

Thank you for sharing your heart. You're in my thoughts and prayers. (Hugs) :)

Flea said...

I can't fully relate, but I can pray. And send hugs. And share Psalm 103:14

He knows how we are formed, He remembers that we are but dust.

He knows not only how you are formed, but your son and daughters.

You're loved, hon!

Betzie said...

Your strong faith will see you through the storms. You write so beautifully...a gift for sure. :)

skywind said...

Oh, beautiful flower, I love it. :)
Health information
Humor & Fun World

Sit-N-Chat said...

I am so sorry that you hurt and that you son hurst. I am so sorry. I know that when our hearts are broken that Jesus pulls us closer and it is ok to cry to Him, letting Him comfort. And I know from your words that you have experience in receiving comfort from Him. I can join you in calling out to Him on behalf of your sweet son. Know that I will be praying for you.
Our tears will be wiped away when we are with Him.

God Bless,

Morning Glories in Round Rock said...

It is so good to know as you reach out in need, so many are reaching back to comfort and share burdens. We may never know in this life time the why, but you are stronger than you know, and we have God's promise that He will not give us more than we can bear. We are here--holding you up in prayers and thoughts. Let us know how you are.

Hugs filled with love,

One Woman's Journey said...

Prayers and Blessings are sent your way.

Joyce said...

Debbie, that is beautiful. May the Lord continue to comfort you, enabling you to 'look on the sunny side of life,' even as you and your son face such challenges.

Ruth MacC said...

Just read this Debby. How are thinhgs now with you and your son?