Internut Syndrome

One day back as a “blogger” – JUST ONE – and I’m already frustrated!  I forgot that I have internet problems:  connection problems, time problems, discipline problems . . .  

I rolled out of bed this morning with a cloak of tiredness dragging me down.  Last night, I did “one quick check” before hopping into bed and . . . well, you know how that goes:   A comment!  An email!  I’ll just quickly read it and reply, and then off to bed.  Oh, I almost forgot to opt out of that site.  Hey, it’s morning in Ukraine; I wonder what’s going on?  And on and on it goes until I am way past bedtime, overloaded with cognitive “junk food,” and smarting with a bit of back pain from sitting too long at a makeshift station designed for “quick” checking the internet. 

Yep!  I have all the symptoms of Internut Syndrome. 

When I rose without shining this morning, I discovered my internet connection was down . . .

AGAIN . . . grumble. 

Just, great!

How am I supposed to blog? (I did make a commitment, you know.)

What if I need to pray about something specific in Ukraine?

What will ------ think if I don’t reply to her sweet comment?

And then I knew for sure . . . Internut Syndrome had taken hold.

I shuffled downstairs in my cute, pink, cableknit sweater slippers and I didn’t even notice they were cute.  I dropped leaves into the tea infuser without remarking the fresh, minty breeze from our newest favorite:  Immuni-tea.  I murmured a muted “Good morning” to my daughter as she wrestled with two sunnyside-up eggs; she murmured back in kind.  The teakettle performed, the tea steeped, while I gathered cup and saucer, hefted the cozied teapot, and made my way to my favorite chair.

Plop!

*sigh*

A gray blankness held me in limbo: 
gray sky, gray light, gray day.

I reached down mechanically and scooped up the first book my hand encountered in the basket beside my chair:  One Thousand Gifts Devotional, by Ann Voskamp.  I leafed open to the next entry:   

Devotion 19 – Awakening Grace

I poured out the floral-minty morning brew, perfectly steeped and dancing with fragrance.  I lifted my faithful companion teacup (Blue Willow, of course) from its saucer and caught a steamy whiff of meadow dances, rollicking streams, morning dew, and flowers waking.  I felt my brow begin to unravel from its tight-knit scrunch as my shoulders started melting into suppleness.  Fear of failure had wrapped me in its grip; pressing expectations had pinned me down.  One day blogging and I was a mess!  And then I turned my attention to Ann.

She began by quoting 1 Thessalonians 5:18:

Give thanks in all circumstances; 
for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

She went on to quote Robert Louis Stevenson:

The man who forgets to be thankful has fallen asleep in life.

Yes, yes indeed.  I have fallen asleep in life – that’s a primary symptom of Internut Syndrome.  The virtual eclipses the tangible whilst the unreal pounces and devours my sense of time . . . the REAL of time.

Another sip of tea.

Another gaze out the window

Is that a glint of blue?

I grab a pen and scribble:

2146. [Thankful that] the internet is on the blink – my morning just gained time . . . real time.

* * * * *

That tenseness that I shouldered as I came downstairs has faded.  That nutty, nagging voice in my head has gone silent.  Maybe it was just a dream – a bad dream.  Not to worry, for I am awake now . . . and thankfully so.

[D]are yourself to give thanks . . . 

and it’s the setting of an alarm 

and you could wake up to nothing less than your life.

Giving thanks, this is an awakening – the breath of God upon the face, close and warm.

~~ Ann Voskamp ~~

One Thousand Gifts Devotional